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Every relationship goes through ups and downs. There have been many times where I felt the same way. But the vows are for better or worse sickness and health. Marriage takes work, grace, love and understanding. Lot of reflection of what may have led up to the issue that cause a breaking point. Three things that got our marriage back on track. Book called love and respect, https://a.co/d/01rFkwYK. Put a link if you want to look at it. My wife read it first and applied what she read. It forced me to read it as well. Sectioned for him and her. Just read what applies to you. At first, I didn’t realize she read the book. But she made the effort. I had to as well. Changed a lot of things for us both. 5 love languages (also for kids) https://a.co/d/0j9ouxub. That helped connect more. If you know what your spouse loves and you work to fulfill that, they WILL reciprocate. If you don’t fill their love tank, they will reciprocate. If you think you know their love language, there’s a good chance you might be wrong and never realized it. Laugh your way to a better marriage by mark gungor. https://youtu.be/nWkPOFz3RSk?is=z_MmokTxVZzZI1dO. It’s long but worth watching together. I love my wife more every day. I thank god for her all the time. No things are not perfect. No every day is not a happy one (especially if you recently had a motorcycle accident). You have to remember, both of you are not the person you were when you met. But you can always work to be the person they love.
I was in that very same position and I feel we have worked through it. I voiced the same concern to my wife. I don't think she took it well, but it was the truth. And when I said that I felt "lonely" I was really toning that down, because I would not do anything to hurt her. I think by trying to choose my words carefully to protect her can sometimes add ambiguity. Perhaps that is what is going on here. My wife has been a SAHM since our son's were around 5. She did a great job homeschooling them. It was a lot of pressure, but I would not change a thing. They got a great education. She does a lot around the house (e.g. laundry, cooking, cleaning, and more). I try to say thank you every day. As for me, I work ~48 hours a week. It add up. I don't mind working. But, I can tell you the weight can get very heavy. At times, especially at night, it can be very difficult understanding that everything is on you (e.g. bills, family well being, retirement, future education, and more). So it is a lot of pressure. I am very detail oriented and tend to internalize things (again I do not want say anything that would hurt my wife) and this can keep me up. That pressure that I mentioned made me feel lonely. I felt alone because I was (and currently am) the only one with tasks that if I fail would adversely impact the success or failure of the family. To this day I have never heard a "Thank you". What changed? What did I find out? I changed my perspective. I read a book by Emerson Eggerichs, Love and Respect, and it was a very emotional read for me. It nailed the things that were bothering me. I had to realize that the I could control my reactions to things. I found that what I was lacking was connection. I initially said I felt lonely, but in the end the feeling of connection was key. Respect is huge too. Does the silence and lack of a "Thank you" mean lack of respect or lack of appreciation? What changed? I think my wife took my words to heart. I feel more connected. I know she loves me. I know I would do anything for her. For me, Love does not equal connection. I found that out after many months of suffering. Good luck. https://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876 FYI - Guy's tend to suck when it comes to sharing the verbalizing feelings.