Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships

There is a very good book titled Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily relationships. I strongly recommend you to read it. It is hard to say from this that your partner is not up to this life, because I do not see your side. I think parents who date, especially people without children have to put double work because it is unfair to your CF partner to accomodate to the situation meanwhile you live the same way. So from your side you have to make sure her needs are also met (of course not saying that put that above your children's needs). You need to adjust your life the both of you and it will be always harder on her so you really need to check what you can do for her.