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Here’s a really great book that a lot of people talk about. https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
The Body Keeps The Score Both are equally "immoral" and harmful. Immoral in quotes because comparing the two like some kind of Pain Olympics is disgusting. But psychologically speaking, very young children can absolutely hold memories of abuse, even if that manifests as a phobia, a paraphilia, as night terrors, PTSD, etc.
You're welcome. I think somatic therapy may be a super helpful tool. Deeply connecting with your body, instead of against it. Listening to it, instead of fighting it. It can also help to go deeper to understand what you might be holding on to (maybe people pleasing, lack of self-worth, trauma, etc) and finally start to release and let go so that you can be free and on the other side of compulsion, self-loathing, and punishing your body. Not saying its the magic pill, but IMO it definitely helps a lot. Breathe with Sandy has amazing videos to just help you to drop into your body and breath. You can start with the super short ones. Breathwork sounds simple and easy, but it can be so powerful and a game-changer. https://www.youtube.com/@BreatheWithSandy Rachel Fearnley does a lot of somatic work and teaches allowing yourself to acknowledge and start to heal and release the trauma within your body. This post and her other IG posts might be helpful - https://www.instagram.com/p/DYDvduwijHU/?img_index=1And she also has free practices on her website Jonathan Mead also does some great somatic work and teaches you how things show up in your body, how to honor it, and how to start to heal https://www.instagram.com/jonathanmead/ The Body Keeps the Score reveals how your brain and body hold onto deeply buried anxiety and stress and trauma (and how the body can express it through physical rituals, obsessions, or control). Reading can show you how to safely reconnect with your body and maybe even retrain your nervous system so you can find relief from compulsions.https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748 I hope this all helps!
Vibe check. I pause, feel my body. Breathe. Consider(using five why’s).Then answer with my spirit as much as I can. Outwardly, this appears that I pause in reflection. It seems that half the time the person answers before I. Someone’s this even reveals their hidden motive. Some will be like, “oh can I get your number for my husband? He’d like you.” I’ll run the above inner motions, then before I answer…“Oh never-mind you probably think I’ll give your number to my friend.” …(riiight) lol Then I’ll just smile and carry on with whatever it was we were doing or move on with the day. They see it as a stoic moment. Like an immovable stone. ~ Or if they’re aggressive, then I recall the skills I’ve learned to counter this. I mean stand up, stand your ground. I’m not afraid of being punched in the face so silly social pressure games become moot. Speaking of which, learning martial arts or a hobby that builds confidence IS important. We need the experience of taking a stand. Judo, kickboxing, BJJ, whatever. I’m telling ya that being able to hit things without consequence is a major dopamine booster. Cathartic. :p Or get a personal trainer at a gym and lift. Strong body. Strong mind/conviction. ~ Back to day to day: …practice on easy things like social pressure with having to answer or ask how people are doing. If you don’t care, don’t ask. Or when someone asks you tell them honestly. Be honest. Slow down. Be deliberate. Find easy things to say ‘no’ to. You are powerful, these moments will show it. Sometimes I’ll say no just to say no. “Can you do this extra task at work for me?” “No.” That’s it. No discussion. I’ll not even say why. Just a polite and confident no, move on. Finding time during the day to do nothing, be bored. Leave early or go wander down a road you drive by every day. A road trip. Things that build a sense of self. Sources: A wholesome therapist on Fawninghttps://youtu.be/iqE4y0K1c9w?is=cQdycjdVi0VKFrZl Five Whyshttps://seventy.org/youth-civics/can-we-talk/cwt-lessons/the-five-whys Meditate, trust your instincts. Get to know your body! Know your heart/spirit! We are so much more than we think ;) https://a.co/d/09uClFQRBody Keeps the Score Be aware of trauma responses.👆 If you wish to go deep into who you are, and really empower yourself… https://a.co/d/002g0ruu So this has been my approach. A lot to filter through, but hope some resonates! No matter what, you’re here. We survived our history, to stand up as we are. Let your intuition speak true and know that you matter! If it feels off, say no! 💪