Becoming an Ironman

Please talk to a professional about the "not worth living" feelings. I think you'll find this book encouraging: "Becoming an Ironman: First Encounters with the Ultimate Endurance Event". This book is not a how-to or a technical guide. It is pure, heartfelt human experience. Each athlete’s story is compelling and dramatic in its own way. Collectively, the stories are both instructional and uplifting—for anyone even dreaming of attempting this forbidding challenge. It's 25 years old, and I read it back in 2005 when I was first considering Ironman. Raced my first Ironman back in 2006. I suggest you substitute "I want to be an endurance athlete". That's a different mindset - aiming for a state of being, not a single goal. Yes, many endurance athletes have completed an Ironman, but many people who have completed an Ironman are in fact not endurance athletes - not long term, state of being endurance athletes. There's nothing wrong with one-and-done, but ... if you're looking for meaning and purpose you are more likely to find it with the endurance athlete mindset. Anyway, step one is getting out there. Many people come Ironman starting as a cyclist, or a runner. Both are endurance sports - cyclists and runners are endurance athletes. Running is more approachable to start - just some well fitted running shoes and off you go. But running is immediately hard on the body and you can become immediately discouraged that you're dying after half a mile. It's normal, because you have to start slow and build up to pace and distance. Find a couch to 5K plan - there are many - and follow it. Cycling needs a bike which can be daunting for some if your finances are tight, and it can be a gear sport too and suck all your money. But it's much more approachable - you can ride fairly long distances after a fairly short period of time - so the discouragement factor isn't there. Swimming needs a pool (usually) and is a technique sport. If you don't know how to swim, you'll need lessons to get started. I did - I started learning at 37 to do my first triathlon.