comments:
I can sympathize with all that you've written. I would encourage you to double down on your efforts to draw closer to Christ. None of it makes sense. I have observed behavior for 20+ years in my own marriage and when it is pointed out, for purely a reference in a conversation, she will completely deny that it happened. I feel like Im on a different planet initiating discussion. Remember that Christ will accomplishes His good and not what you think is necessarily good. There are numerous instances in the Bible that show exactly that point. God is using your marriage, no matter how good or bad you think it is for His glory, not yours. This can be a humbling pill to swallow, but if you submit yourself to His will and not own; in my opinion, this has helped greatly in my own marriage. Do what you know to be right according to scripture and leave the rest to God. His ways are far greater than you or I can fathom. The knowledge that all that your going through, has been allowed by Christ for His glory from your birth. And the realization of that is a great reminder that Christ knows far more than we do. He knows exactly why He is allowing things to go the way they are. And the truth is they may never change, but it is not for you to be the agent of change. It is for you to be a humble servant to Christ first, then your wife. Come to terms with the fact that things may never change. But find peace in the fact that Christ knows exactly what He is doing. Read Lamentations 3:21-32. I'm not sure where you are with your walk with Christ but I would suggest a humble and healthy dose of repentance of sin. Are you honest before God and others about the situation? Be killing sin or it will be killing you my friend. Get rid of those sins that slowing you down. Clean your own proverbial house before you start looking at her (I am completely aware how hard that is). Hunger and thirst for righteousness like Matthew 5:6 says, God promises you will be satisfied. Not with your situation but with Him. If you are still reading. I would suggest the following book (in addition to scripture, not in place of) to get a better perspective on suffering... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433556774/?coliid=I2KY2Z3LXGOXZS&colid=JLA3MVDB9SK8&psc=1 The road you are traveling is not an easy one to travel. I've not only been there but am still traveling that road. There has been alot of not answered prayer, but I am certain that God is faithful, Romans 8:28 says so. But He never promised the road would be easy. Nor did He say that He would give us what we want. He has simply called us to obey Him, full stop. Finally, this trial or suffering that you are going through is for reasons only known to God. You may never understand why. But if you are a Christian, He is using this to sanctify you and glorify Himself. Find a peace in that. And from my first statement, YOU seek Him, dont worry about her actions. She will be dealt with at the proper time. Read James 4:8. Godspeed.