comments:
Yes and No. This got VERY long but I hope that you take the time to read it because it's all VERY nuanced. What I think I'm starting to understand is that it's a cultural difference. From my understanding, and Italians please correct me if I'm wrong, being an Italy Italian is not just that you were born in Italy. It's that you were raised within the culture, speak the language partake in the culture itself, etc. Being an Italian American (or rather, saying you are an Italian American) puts a bad taste in their mouths because they are aware that there isn't really Italian culture in America. So to claim the 'Italian' is like saying "Oh I'm JUST like you! I know everything there is about being Italian!" So when they ask 'do you even speak the language?' it's because that is the bare minimum we as Italian-Americans can do, and even then it can be insulting because the Italian taught on apps is general Italian, but there are many many many dialects. For me, my family came from Ponza, the dialect I would technically need to learn is Ponzese (or at the very least Neopolitan? I think? I still have a lot to learn on this front). On the other side of the coin, in America this country was founded on colonization, it never really got to develop with an indigenous touch as they were slaughtered. So in America, because we are a country of immigrants, we focus deeply on DNA because that is the only connection we have to any land. There are no real roots for many many Americans here, but because of this many Americans also don't really care all that much. Then we factor in the way Italian immigrants were treated, the way they had to prove their love of America over their love of Italy while the American government bombed their home country, and the way the American government has relatively successfully glossed over the internment of Italians and what happened during that period of time (highly recommend the book Una Storia Segreta: The Secret History of Italian American Evacuation and Internment during World War II) and there's only pockets of very old Italian culture that has not developed due to its severing during this time. So Americans have this pride in something they don't really fully understand, and Italians see a very outdated culture that doesn't really reflect the current day and age of modern Italy. But I think that this cold shoulder is very often deserved just from how I see so many Italian-Americans treat the 'Italian' part of their heritage. It's a badge they flaunt and boast about. They lie about 'mafia' connections (side-eyeing my dad who is the epitome of the Italian-American I'm talking about). As others have said in the comments they try to argue with Italians aver how to cook Italian food, claiming they know better when the dish they learned has been passed down and untouched (for the most part) since the 30s or earlier. I think the assimilation really damaged Italian-Americans in that we did not really get to develop our culture unless you are deeply rooted in the dominant 'Little Italy's' across America. For Italian-Americans like myself that were never taught the language, the recipes, the culture, never shown music or genuinely *anything* from my immigrant grandparents due to the fear of prosecution and the need to assimilate (esp if you were from California) there's this gap and hole that we want to fill and are going out to learn but we also can't assume and be disrespectful. Unfortunately there are a lot of Italian Americans that brag about their Italian bloodline but have absolutely no connection to it, so from what I am seeing, the answer to that disconnect and that feeling of isolation is to immerse yourself and never claim to be Italian, because you're not. We're not, I guess I should say. And yes that is a hard pill to swallow because it wasn't our choice to lose this culture and language (again, speaking to those in my situation who are entirely isolated with zero influence) but it is also not the responsibility of Italians to coddle us and cater to our ego's and sense of abandonment either. We are Italian-Americans and what that means is entirely on us to determine for ourselves. Does it mean the caricature that American pop-culture has made of us, or does it mean doing a lot of work to sort of reverse engineer what was lost over time and assimilation? And even then I would never say I'm Italian (and there is a hit to my pride because I love what I am learning about Ponza and my ancestors that were from there) I would say that I am Italian-American. So yes, I feel excluded by Italians but I feel excluded because there is a culture difference in what we mean when we say "I'm Italian-American/Italian American". And I use the hyphen to differentiate the type of people that boast about their Italian heritage having done none of the research or learned anything really about it but try and claim their blood is enough (Italian American) vs those that are actively doing the hard work to learn while also appreciating being corrected by Italians and also never claiming to *be* Italian (Italian-American). But I also don't feel excluded because I know that a lot of that disdain is directed towards the non-hyphenated version. There will always be outliers of course, but the way I see it is that it's similar to the way people talk about the "Not All Men" reply. If you see a post calling this out, and you feel that it misrepresents how you act, then they aren't referring to you. That said, you should also hold those that it does apply to accountable and correct them.