comments:
There is awareness, and then there is confronting who you are. These are not the same things. Therapy, like for you, helped me become aware. But it wasn't until I went out of my way to address my inner child that I realized that awareness on its own is insufficient: I needed to address my child suffering within. After being frustrated with my therapist telling me I needed to address my inner child for a few weeks yet not knowing how to do so, I did some searching and finally got my hands on Homecoming by John Bradshaw (https://www.amazon.com/Homecoming-Reclaiming-Championing-Inner-Child/dp/0553353896). Read every page in here and heed his warnings. I told my therapist I did this and she right out told me I was about 3 months ahead of where she expected me to be, and though it wasn't her preference for me to get started on this work, I did it anyway and she went along with it. Do the exercises. Every single one of them. If you do some searching, you should also be able to find recordings of the various meditations. Be careful not to overload yourself too much with these exercises. Allow yourself to feel your pain through them. Best wishes.