comments:
Please read the book - stop walking on eggshells. This book has been a real eye opener. My loved one has BPD and these emotional up and downs are draining. But that book — gave me so much clarity. I still think you should leave her, but still read the book. You will learn it’s not you. The one thing that is perfectly clear is you need to have firm boundaries and follow through with them. Once I started doing that, wow, big changes. When someone with BPD acts like this, they are looking for an endorphin rush. If you don’t give in to it, they will get worse at first, and then turn it around. One thing I put in place was “you are not allowed to text me during your spirals. You know what you have to do to feel better. I will not respond to you.” I then have to take my phone and shove it away. I can’t look at it otherwise I will respond. It’s so hard. You can’t enable them. You can’t give in to them. You must set a boundary and hold firm to it no matter how hard it is. Try using my boundary. I will not respond when you text or talk to me like that. She will blow up. She will go nuts. She will do everything she can think of to get you to respond. It will turn to “see, you don’t love me. You hate me. You want me to go away….” Blah blah blah. Do. Not. Give. In. Stick to your boundary. If she is really getting a degree in psychology, she will have learned that this is necessary for someone with BPD to heal. Get the book - stop walking on eggshells. https://a.co/d/0bgUmnvo