comments:
Found this info-below-on-line and it makes me think of the saying that "fore warned is fore armed." Shortly after losing my husband, I began been noticing how people dealt with me, and I think this observation of "thirds" is pretty true. It did not take long for people to show me what category they were in. I guess I'm grateful that one in three actually care. I kept it short & lite with the rest. I think the key is to not take them personally and hope they're not the ones you run into when having a bad day and feeling really needy. I am so thankful that I had 4 friends who could be silent with me in my moments of despair & confusion, who could stay with me in my grief & who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with me the "reality of our powerlessness". the rule of thirds for the bereaved “Keep in mind the rule of thirds: one-third of your friends will be supportive of your need to mourn, one-third will make you feel worse, and one-third will neither help nor hinder." --From Alan D. Wolfelt, Healing Your Grieving Soul : 100 Spiritual Practices for Mourners