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** pediatric dietitian here ***See an intuitive eating dietitian for your son, not just any dietitian!!! Education from credible source and developing a healthy relationship with food is so pivotal.. otherwise it will lead to obesity, eating disorders, etc Read this: https://www.amazon.com/Your-Childs-Weight-Helping-Without-ebook/dp/B007ECJF0I Also kids do learn from parents- you and your wife need to be body positive about yourselves, avoid talking about needing to lose weight and limit foods. Focus on getting healthy , say we are going to eat balanced with all food groups, listen to hunger cures, move because it feels good, and be happy about yourselves body. Focus on getting stronger not losing weight , etc. Good luck!! What you do now can steer his course for the rest of his life.