comments:
i totally get it, and you’re not coming off as creepy at all! i think it’s great you’re trying to help her and still understand her sensitivity and don’t want to push her. i will say that sleep bras aren’t super common around here butt hey do exist and some swear by them. the good news is getting a “professional” fitting in store will almost certainly result in the wrong size. fitters generally have no idea what they’re doing and they are trained to sell bras, not put people in the right size. that’s how nearly everyone ends up in the wrong size. most fitters will put me in a 40DD or so but i’m actually a 36J US lol, i bet your wife’s transformation would be similar, 38DD to 34H/i/J US (34FF/G/GG UK) or so. the best way is to use the calculator at abrathatfits.org, you just need a soft measuring tape. she can do it herself, but it’s also common for an SO to help. if she is triggered by the numbers or cup size (super common), maybe you could ask her if she’d be ok with you taking the measurements, putting them in the calc, determining size, and buying something for her to try? and she could try it without any expectations or even looking at the size. make sure to learn about scoop & swoop btw. but i would say you should definitely tell her everything you plan on doing up to buying, don’t try to surprise her or anything. if my husband was coming to me with this i’d prob want him to say “just humor me for a sec okay and try this on, if it sucks ill return it and you dont have to worry about it.” or alternatively if you think she’d rather ease in by herself, you can try directing her to @theirishbralady on instagram to see what properly fitted sizes actually look like, and that may trigger a desire to learn more. in terms of being worried about spending money, you could try talking to her or directing her to posts talking about how bras are literal medical necessities for a lot of people. we deserve good quality of life and that requires well fitted undergarments. in an ideal world bras should be subsidized as eligible to buy under health insurance, not categorized & taxed as a luxury item like tampons (yes really it’s insane). if she is in the 34-38 band and FF-HH UK size range, elomi (specifically the elomi matilda) is a very good starting place. it’s really easy to find in the US and often on sale for around $40 which may seem a lot more palatable to her than $80+. example for $38: https://a.co/d/09HI4W1b