comments:
Hi there. So listen, I'm someone who has been accused of being somewhat transphobic, so take my opinion on this with a grain of salt. The truth is, I'm not transphobic at all - I think it's great that you're going to be living as your authentic self in a way that feels right to your soul, and hey, as a boy myself, I get the appeal. 😉 But nothing gets my goat faster than the pronoun thing done wrong, and so I can't help but see this as a unique opportunity to mold this the way I'd really want a transgender person doing it. So, with all that in mind, here's my advice: Wear a button. Here's one of about a thousand examples:https://www.amazon.com/THEY-THEM-pronoun-pin-visibility/dp/B0BB3FVL39/ref=sr_1_24 This way you're not bringing it up out of nowhere. The pin will invite people to ask about it, or just conform to it if they so choose, and they won't need to rely on ambiguous visual cues in your appearance to guide them. 2. Express yourself. When someone does bring it up, take the opportunity to be a little bit vulnerable. Share why it's important to you, and what it means to you. It's a lot harder for people to reject the request if you humanize it as much as possible for them. 3. Tolerate dissent from strangers, but not from friends. Your gender identity is male. No one can take that away from you, certainly not by willfully using the word "she". So when it comes to strangers, if they don't comply with your request, don't correct them. Just let it go. It might be because they're transphobic or just a good old fashioned asshole, but more likely it's just because you're a stranger and you're not important enough to them for them to remember your name yet, let alone your pronouns. Correcting them just makes you look like an entitled narcissist that thinks the world revolves around you. Really, really annoying, and not a way to make a good impression on someone. Your friends, on the other hand, should care enough about your feelings to do what you ask, because... well, because they're your friends. If they're not willing to make the pronoun effort, then that's a serious problem with that friendship and you should ask them to evaluate whether they really care about you or not. Being someone's friend gives you certain fair entitlements, including the right to be addressed in the way you wish to be addressed. Best of luck, bud, and don't worry about what other people think. They don't have to live in your head, you do.