Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

That is your limbic (inner, primitive brain) keeping you on hyper alert. It will continue until: You walk away She walks away You collpse You break down You figure out how to soothe your primitive brain. It can be done, but it is not trivial. A therapist can help. Here is a book that may or may not be helpful, but it does discuss the hardwired aspects of jealousy and mate-guarding. Polysecure by Jessica Fern.